27 August 2012


I just had to repost this one. it is soooooo funny, I Laugh Out Loud each time I read it:

I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit. I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night. I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to.

I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as I was beatin the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!! I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Mogaka was standin at the gate with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated. I was asked why are you late? I said makaa was poured with water at night teacher asked what has that to do with you coming to school late I told him the jiko was late to burn so it delayed cookin strong tea he said that is no excuse!!

Touch your toes!! I started to remove my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry, when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks, the teacher said you have erased that one!! 

I will have to give you another one!! When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my eyes uncontrollably,, the teacher said, you removing tears for who!! I dont want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and dont late tomorrow. My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko.. I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying. When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to sit it was so pain I could not seet. So I seeted on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sweya I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!.

Examiners comments:
This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Centre for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent.


Well, if there is any event that I look forward to (other than classical concerts) is the annual music festival. I used to participate in Music Festivals since primary school, all the way through high school. So hooked was I that in my fourth year in high school (I hope my parents never see this) I missed my Kiswahili Mocks paper since I was attending the provincial music festivals. Not that this time I was participating, I accompanied a friend. Since I came to my senses, I have never missed any national finals, except this year.

Well I got the chance to watch the state house music festivals concert, which was aired live by the national channel a.k.a KBC. I saw talent, young and rich talent that soothes the soul and settles my musical restless soul. All those who made it for the finals were all great, but I must mention a few that caught my eye … (or is it ear).


Among the colleges that made it was the Friends teachers college Kaimosi with their Dance…my oh my…their iskuti moves made me stand up and try to dance…I say try because I could not match up to what they were doing...their shoulders…wow!
High schools. The Kibirichia Boys High school. These ones got my attention the moment they walked in…with their well built masculine bodies… (Yes mwenye macho haambiwi tazama)... and their short lessos...well I never knew boys look so lovely with short lessos...and their meru dance had creative moves.
 Choral verses.

I must say this section has grown most since I started attending music festivals. Among those that made me excited was Mumbi Girl’s “Evan animals Have Tears”. They got everyone bursting with laughter describing the wildlife situation in Kenya. Lagemo Primary’s “I Am What You Are” was a masterpiece; reminding us to be good role models, particularly the parents…they got baba laughing with the comparison of parent’s certificates and children’s performance in school.


We all love this part; these songs take back our minds to the good old days. Chavakali Boys really had their moves going and it was reported that they got a standing ovation during the Festivals at Meru. Now I Know why. Precious Blood Riruta’s piece was amazing! Kudos to them. 

When the event was ending, during the last performance, I saw baba dozing… or was it “resting his eyes”…surely, the last piece was not that bad..! Now I await next year’s festivals.