12 February 2015


Valentines is drawing nearer with each rising and setting of the sun…of all the definitions of love that I have ever come across, these manifestations of love are the best that I can agree with (this is my opinion and that of the writer).  Just from the way it started, “God bless you in your relationships, and may the Holy Spirit empower you to love with a love that is not your own.” Caught my eye (and my heart). Here is what the writer said

  1. LOVE IS... being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
  2. LOVE IS... actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise.
  3. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.
  4. LOVE IS... being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
  5. LOVE IS... being more committed to unity and understanding than you are to winning, accusing, or being right. 
  6. LOVE IS... a making a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.
  7. LOVE IS... being willing, when confronted by another, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.
  8. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to another is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient.
  9. LOVE IS... being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.
  10. LOVE IS... being a good student of another, looking for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support them as they carry it, or encourage them along the way.
  11. LOVE IS... being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the relational problems you face, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response.
  12. LOVE IS... being willing to always ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.
  13. LOVE IS... recognizing the high value of trust in a relationship and being faithful to your promises and true to your word.
  14. LOVE IS... speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or assault their intelligence.
  15. LOVE IS... being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt the other person into giving you what you want or doing something your way.
  16. LOVE IS... being unwilling to ask another person to be the source of your identity, meaning, and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.
  17. LOVE IS... the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a spouse, parent, neighbor, etc.
  18. LOVE IS... a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and active love in your relationships.
  19. LOVE IS... staying faithful to your commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or is unwilling to reciprocate.
  20. LOVE IS... the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of a relationship without asking for anything in return or using your sacrifices to place the other person in your debt.
  21. LOVE IS... being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt the other person, or weakens the bond of trust between you.
  22. LOVE IS... refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.
  23. LOVE IS... daily admitting to yourself, the other person, and God that you are unable to be driven by a cruciform love without God’s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace.

This is the kind of love I am striving to daily to have.  I may not manifest all, but I try my best to show love in ways that God would like me to.

                 Once again, Happy Valentines from Njeri Kareithi


see the original post here 

3 February 2015


Monday evening, it’s just a few minutes before class starts. This girlfriend of mine has glowing face and a bright smile today ; she is wearing a beautiful sunny dress and some flowery sandals. She places her hand bag on the table and comes running towards me (okay, she did not run, she walked hastily…I was at the other end of the table going though some text messages from a conversation I had had with a friend). She was different. Something had changed in her. She was happy, she was smiling, she was laughing, she had glee; she was alive!

“Dee, I met your people” she said amidst a somewhat outburst. I thought she would scream. Looking around just to make sure no one is listening just in case she says something she was not supposed to (see, I don’t know of people I can say that are “my people”, other than my family members :-D).

“What people?”I asked. She went ahead to remind me of this group that I had introduced to her to. For a few months, she had been going through a rough patch in her life and wanted to let go of some things and move on. She needed something to help her clear her mind. She had done meditation and needed to feel alive again. Being the adventurous bug I am, always looking for adventures to experience; I recommended a road trip to Arusha some friends were doing…she went. And the person standing in front of me was the result of the said road trip which was two days long. She went ahead and explained how it went down...even with pictures as evidence. I smiled. I was happy for her. She had done it!!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of the year again; as they say, love is “in the air”. It’s February, the so called month of love. During this month, some young partners will celebrate their first valentines, some old couples will celebrate the umpteenth valentines, a time to celebrate their love. To others, however, it is a month where those past wounds resurface, when that pain they experienced with that one person they loved (or thought they loved) bites just one more time.

The sight of people walking hand in hand, people writing to each other love messages in public, people displaying affection in public (not a fan of PDA by the way), and with the recent migration of people to social media, the updates, the photos, the mushy-mushy messages will be something they will not want to see. Better yet; how about staying offline and changing the phone and getting one that does not have all those applications, a “not so smart” phone.

Letting go has been and will be one of the things we human beings struggle with. All of us. There is no way of saying that there is a best way of moving on. The way and duration of one person moving on and lets go cannot be the same as another. It’s like falling in love. No two ways of falling in love are identical, not even two experiences of birthing a young one (I don’t know how appropriate this is), each experience is unique. Well, in the same way, letting go of that love or loss of a loved one is different.

The overlying fact, however, is that for you to move on and let go, you have to decide. Making up your mind and sticking to it is just the first step. The same way you decide to let someone in your life is the same way you can let them out of your life. Do it for yourself; for your well being…then you can heal well. You may decide to do it like my friend did, do something new, take yourself out, experience something new, watch a new movie, spend time with a friend, just do something that you know is worth it. And know your worth enough to let it go. Don’t forget to have fun while at it!!

I too; are on this journey. Join me in letting go of somethings, and letting God. Letting myself be me.

Happy valentines from Njeri Kareithi’s desk. Remember, just as charity begins at home, love begins with loving yourself. Happy Valentines